This morning was glorious. I had a beautiful five mile run- and scored another PR with my pace.
The sun was still rising, and the sky was magical. I felt good, the air wasn’t making me feel like I was in an oven.
Then I went to work and had my soul crushed.
Luckily- I came home to the handsomest guy I know. He worked hard to cheer me up. There was silly dancing, and even some romantic slow dancing. Then- the cherry on top was a delicious Bloody Mary made with love.
It occurred to me during the pity party I was throwing for myself that my birthday coming up bothers me a little. The whole business of growing older. Growing old. I’m mourning my youth a little.
Tomorrow’s schedule say 3 miles, but I might need a longer run to clear my head before work. We’ll see how hungover I am from this ONE drink. The good news: I’m a real cheap date.
This week got away from me. It was so hot every day, and work has been crazier than usual. I still ran, just not as much as I was planning.
Kaitlin was available for a late morning run on Thursday- but about halfway though it we called it on account of the blistering heat and walked home. We still got four miles in, just not as quickly as we had originally planned.
Yesterday’s 5k was under a “yellow” weather advisory. We walked a lot, and talked a lot, and overall had an EXCELLENT time. Unfortunately, due to the heat, our mascot was unable to make it (maybe next time!). I also didn’t have time to craft- so I just had my dad make us shirts.
I had planned on running 8 this morning- but some stomach issues got me off to a late start (I’m TERRIFIED of becoming the “mad pooper” of Naperville, so I waited until I was SURE I was ok.) With the late start, I only had time for 6 miles, and they felt glorious. I did a super basic out and back- one I haven’t done in a while- and it all worked out perfectly. There was a foggy mist hanging around the prairie path that made that portion of my run feel cooler than the portion I was on pavement. All in all, good times. Good times, noodle salad.
Four weeks until the Naperville Half Marathon. Two weeks until I’m 35 (gulp.)
Three days post half marathon today, and I went for a two miler before work. I got progressively more sore as the day went on yesterday, and expected to wake up stiff and miserable. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Two miles in 20 minutes 8 seconds is pretty great for me. Back to back ten minute miles is something I struggle to do consistently, so I’ll take it!
Tomorrow’s plan is 5 miles AND some strength training– especially core work. I’ve been slacking- and I can feel it. I want to drop another pant size SOON. I haven’t had any noticeable losses in inches or pounds since march. I holding steady at 151.4. I really need to dial in my cross training/strength training. I’ve just been running running running. I’m so eager to take my next step and try something new- but the time commitment terrifies me. I don’t want to join a gym- or buy a class pass- and then freak out about using it. Must. Do. Research. Must find something I can fit in. See what I did there? At least I amuse myself.
I’m running a “sundown 5k” this weekend- and I haven’t decided if I’m going to run hard and try to PR (29:14) or if I’m going to run with a coworker and socialize. She runs a 12 minute mile. The race is at a local community college, so the number of attendees in my age group might be lower than some of the bigger races around… and I might have a chance to place. Nevermind! Just looked up last years results. I would have come in 13th in my age group last year. Eh. I still might try to PR, even if I don’t place.
I somehow convinced my corporate office to send our company mascot out for pictures- so that will be fun. It also means I’ve got some crafting to do before then…. pictures to come!
First run since the half marathon. I went to sleep last night with plans of running 3 miles, but woke up feeling a little wrecked. After a giant cup of coffee, I finally made it out the front door around 6:15am. Thankfully, the sun had started to rise- so it wasn’t pitch black out like it will be on my longer runs.
Two miles later, I’m equal parts glad I did it and mad I didn’t sleep in. Running today was another first for me. It was the first time I got out and ran this soon after a half marathon. In the past, towards the end of my training cycle- I was only running my long runs. When I was only doing one fall half, I stopped running immediately after the race until the following spring. Even with doing two fall half marathons for the past two years- I think I took the whole week after the first one off, then dropped back to only my long runs.
Really excited that it’s looking like fall,even if it doesn’t quite feel like fall.
Welp. Today was a tough one. It was much hotter than I had been expecting. The temperature jumped twenty degrees from my last long run, and the humidity was intense. I knew it was going to be rough when I took Foxy out at 5:30 this morning. It was pitch black outside, and the first time I was leaving the house. I had been wearing a long sleeved moisture wicking hoodie over my race outfit because we keep the house just a few degrees above “I can see my breath.” Add in the fact that the last several miles the sun tried to roast me alive, and it’s no surprise I didn’t PR.
It’s ok. I keep telling myself that it’s ok. I kept saying “it’s a hard, hilly race. I don’t expect to PR.” I was lying. I was hoping to PR. The first four miles felt GREAT. Then it got a little harder each mile after. I walked. I don’t know exactly how much I walked, but it felt like a lot. While I can blame the weather (and it did make a huge impact) I’d be lying to myself even more if I didn’t address my midrace mental breakdown. I know better than to keep looking at my watch- but as it felt harder, and harder, I kept looking. And then calculating. “If I stay at this pace for the next five miles- I’ll still miss my real PR. If I can cut a minute off of this mile, I might make it. Nope. Not happening. What’s the point. If I’m not going to PR, what’s the point.”
My PR is 2 hours 32 minutes. Somehow or another, my watch disagrees. It was the 2014 Naperville Half. My watch shows my PR as 2 hours 41 minutes which was the Naperville Women’s Half this spring. I came in three minutes short of getting a new “watch” PR, and the way I KNOW with absolute certantiy that my mental break is what truly held me back…. I had it in my head that my watch PR was 2:47, and I fought hard for the last three miles to beat it. If I had known it was 2:41- I would have fought harder SOONER and probably beat it.
So. Trying very hard not to beat myself up. Back at it Tuesday with a five miler. Praying for the weather to cool off. Happy to have finished.
OH! So- after I got home, I walked in the house and was greeted with a terrible smell. Last week, I cleaned out the fridge- and something must have leaked in the garbage. The garage had started to smell the day before yesterday. Tuesday is garbage day- and we planned on rinsing out the can at that point. It could NOT wait until Tuesday. I rolled the garbage out, lifted the lid to find so. Many. Maggots. It was the stuff of nightmares. I I got some rubber gloves, several garbage bags- and I wrapped the trash bag that was the problem (and the only bag in the can) until I ran out of bags. I looked down- and there was definitely a maggot on the back of my wrist. I sprayed my entire arm full blast with the hose while shouting “get off get off get off get off get off!” I then called a local restaurant within walking distance of my house and asked if I could put a very well wrapped, very stinky bag of trash in their dumpster. I then walked (all the while still in my race gear- salty and sweaty as ever) to said restaurant and waved a friendly thank you at the man inside as I passed the window with my stink bag. He probably assumed I was dumping a body. While I normally would have rinsed off and then taken a post race bath– today required a full silkwood shower.
Should I wear my medals to work tomorrow? Since the real reason I signed up for this race in particular was the Fox medal?
I have never been this prepared for a race. I have never been this anxious about a race.
Six or seven years ago, before I met my boyfriend, before I started running, I went to the doctor convinced I had somehow managed to break my jaw. Or dislocate it. Or that I had developed some horrible jaw cancer, and I was most assuredly dying. “See! I can’t even open my mouth all the way!” I told the nurse practitioner, the only one at the office who could see me that day. “Do you think it’s broken? Could I have dislocated it?… Is jaw cancer a thing?”
“You have strep.”
“No. No. I’ve had strep a bunch of times. My tonsils always look like that (gross.) My throat doesn’t even hurt. My jaw hurts.”
“You have strep. I’ll run a culture, but your tonsils are nearly touching. I’m surprised you can breathe.”
“I don’t have strep.”
“Here are the test results. You have strep. Take these massive horse pill antibiotics, and some steroids to reduce the swelling… because if you swell any more- you will die.”
So… maybe those aren’t direct quotes… but pretty close. Those steroids? They messed me up. I was on prednisolone for maybe a week. It made the swelling go down- and my jaw stopped hurting. It also made me eat everything that wasn’t nailed down. It also made me crazy.
I remember very clearly the sense of NEEDING to be doing something. Specifically cleaning. I started by vacuuming. And that led to scrubbing the ceiling. Then more vacuuming. And then I got a lady razor and shaved my couch. The whole thing. In fast little manic movements that terrified my roommate when she got home. The house had never been cleaner. I had never felt more restless.
That’s how I felt this morning. So I got to work tidying up and getting some laundry put away. It didn’t help. I showered and got ready. Still felt crazy. I headed to St. Charles to pick up my packet, and I felt a little calmer. My boyfriend, Josh, took me out for brunch, and I relaxed a little bit. We went to Costco, and I lost my damn mind again. I got all jumpy and panicky. So now I’m home. We’ve got beautiful prime ribeye cap steaks ready for a fancy pre race dinner. I have pickle juice in the freezer to make little pickle juice packets for my mid-race electrolyte needs. I know what I’m wearing. I know what I need to do to get ready tonight, and tomorrow morning, and I still feel so uneasy.
I fought it all morning, but I finally gave in and took a Xanax after telling Josh I felt like I was having a slow motion panic attack. I did a little easy beginner’s yoga. And now I’m just trying to relax. I think I’m going to paint my nails. It always makes me feel like I have my shit together when my nails are done, and they’re currently chipped.
Final taper run before the half marathon this Sunday. I expected it to feel easy and short since it was only two miles… but it turned out to be a bit of a challenge. It’s weird and misty outside. I’m really hoping for a lot less humidity on Sunday (right now it’s 94%!)
Foxy got extremely frizzy, and I got extremely sweaty.
For now, foam rolling and hydrating so I’m super fresh on Sunday. The next two rest days are going to be… weird.